The Worst New Nickelodeon Shows

We all know that Disney Channel is the King, Queen, and Prince of terrible shows. From them, we've gotten real facepalm-worthy crap, like “Dog with a Blog” and “Shake It Up”. But what about Nickelodeon? That station has really fallen in the mud over the past few years and given us shows that no fan of Nick could tolerate, new generation or old generation. It's still on my list of good channels, but its dropped below Cartoon Network ever since CN started airing “Adventure Time” and “Regular Show”. Here's my own personal list of the worst new Nick shows to avoid.

The Thundermans (Status: Still airing)

The Thundermans focuses on a family of superheroes trying to adjust to living in a regular town and hiding their powers.

My main problem with this show: Hey, didn't I see this premise......on about fifty other TV shows and movies? The Incredibles, anyone? I've got no problems with people recycling old plot ideas, but it's just sad when that particular idea has been done to death and beyond. No imagination, bad jokes, and generally nothing to cheer about. Don't believe me? Check out the score it got on TV.com: 2.2. 2.2! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this show actually scored worse than “Dog with a Blog” and “Shake It Up”. That really says a lot, doesn't it?

How To Rock (Status: Cancelled)

After getting braces and glasses, Kacey Simon is shunned by the popular girls she normally hangs out with. She becomes friends with another group of less popular students who have their own rock band and are willing to accept her.

The plot itself made me cringe. A girl gets braces and glasses and becomes an outcast? Sure, she's being outcasted by a bunch of stuck-up girls, but still..... Isn't that a little harsh, Nickelodeon? Since when did you teach girls that image is all that matters? Seriously, I thought you were preaching the opposite...... And let's face it, a lot of kids have glasses and braces these days and they don't all become outcasts. There's also the obvious fact that the title is a huge misnomer. The band doesn't play what any rock fan would consider rock. More like bubblegum pop and all that other stuff that makes us want to blow up a music studio. Musical comedies are fine, but don't they have to be funny? I watched the first episode and it felt like the comedy died within the first two minutes. So, in conclusion: Ridiculous, offensive message sent to girls, bad pop songs, and terrible comedy. At least Nick was smart enough to cancel this before it even got to Season 2.

Marvin Marvin (Status: Cancelled)

The show stars Marvin, an alien who comes to Earth to live with a human family. He has trouble fitting in at school due to his alien ways and, naturally, has to conceal the fact that he's an alien to begin with.

Oh look, it's Fred Figglehorn. Except his voice got a little deeper and he changed his name to Marvin. Oh yeah, and now he's also a bad CGI version of an alien. All jokes aside, this show made me wish that Lucas Cruikshank had more sense. The moment he signed his soul over to Nickelodeon, he stopped being that funny guy with a camcorder. Now he's that unfunny guy being dragged across the concrete by Nickelodeon's attempts at making him even more famous. And “Marvin Marvin” is a good example of how pathetic those attempts are. Not only is the comedy terrible, but it's actually not comedy. It's just a collection of immature fart jokes and Fred—I mean Marvin—screaming and acting like a hyperactive 9-year-old. Don't get me wrong.... I might chuckle at a fart joke once and a while, but when the entire show is fart jokes? If you can do it once, fine. If you can do it twice, alright. But if you can do it three times, don't. I have no idea what audience (if any) Nick tested this show out on, but they must have eventually gotten the message that no one over the age of five can tolerate so much grossness that's somehow meant to be comedy....

The Haunted Hathaways (Status: Still airing)

A family moves into a house and discover that it's haunted by the ghosts of some dead jazz musicians.

I have no idea if this show is meant to be scary or funny, but it isn't either. It feels more like an R.L. Stine book, if R.L. Stine was a 10-year-old with no writing experience and some kind of racial prejudice. Sorry, this needs to be said: Stop shoving talentless child actors down our throats, Nickelodeon! That's for you, too, Disney Channel! Why do they think that kids who can't act, but happen to be a little cute, are going to make up for a really bad show? In reality, that just makes it more unbearable and makes me more likely to throw something at my TV screen.

Sanjay and Craig (Status: Still airing)

The adventures of a boy named Sanjay and his pet snake named Craig.

I can just imagine how this show was created: Nickelodeon asks for a “boy and his dog” comedy, but asks for a twist. Bingo! It's a snake, instead of a dog. And it's crap, instead of funny. I feel like this show was aimed at immature 10-year-old boys and totally disregarded anyone more intelligent and worth catering to. Which is especially sad because Pendleton Ward is actually involved in this. Yep, the creator of the marvelously creepy and funny “The Marvelous Adventures of Flapjack” has actually stooped this low. I guess all stars must fall, but I wish they wouldn't crap all over Nickelodeon while they do.

That's about it for bad Nickelodeon shows (I'm sure some of you have some ideas of your own about bad shows). Notice I didn't mention “Sam and Cat”? That's because I actually kind of like the show, or at least find it watchable. Some episodes are “iCarly” brand hilarious, like #PeezyB or #Twinfection. Other episodes are just.......cringe.

Scariest Nancy Drew Adventure Games (Spoilers)

The Nancy Drew game series has become immensely popular over the years, with both Nancy Drew fans and others.  However, some of the games can be pretty scary.......usually on purpose.  Here is a list of more creepy/terror-inducing games in the series.  In no particular order, with a few of the scary parts listed......

Nancy Drew:  Legend of the Crystal Skull

• The setting is a large mansion at night during a rain storm, which is creepy enough by itself.
• The first scene in the game involves Nancy being attacked by a man in a creepy skeleton mask.
• The housekeeper's room looks like something out of a scary movie (creepy doll, strange words written on one wall, etc.).
• One of the main areas in this game is a cemetery.  

Nancy Drew:  Shadow at the Water's Edge

• Another game that is set at night.
• The "ghost" haunting the ryokan looks like the girl from The Ring.
• Among the things you will encounter during the game:  The ghost girl in the mirror, doors closing by themselves, strange noises and banging while you're trying to solve one of the puzzles, and a shadow on the balcony.
• When you stay at Yumi's apartment for the night, at one point you'll wake up and see weird glowing writing all over the window.  

Nancy Drew:  The Haunting of Castle Malloy

• Set at night, of course.  Beginning to see a pattern?
• For most of the game, you'll hear a strange wailing sound that you won't discover the cause of until the end.
• A "banshee" will appear at the nursery window at one point.
• The nursery itself looks creepy.   

  
Nancy Drew:  The Ghost of Thornton Hall

• The general atmosphere is eerie.
• Throughout the game, you will see a lot of strange, random ghostly sights (such as a shadow sliding out of sight after you open a door or the ghost walking down the hallway in front of you).
• Another game where one of the main areas is a cemetery.  
• The recordings made by Jessalyn are enough to give you the shivers.  

Nancy Drew:  The Curse of Blackmoor Manor

• When you first arrive, you see a pair of glowing red eyes staring at you from the bushes.
• The game takes place (you guessed it) at night.
• Although this is more opinion than anything else, Jane's design makes her appear a little creepy.

That's about it for scary Nancy Drew adventure games.  Happy Halloween :) 

A Comparison of Three Animated Batman Series

Comparing Batman: The Brave and the Bold, The Batman, and Beware The Batman

An Overview:

The Batman: The series follows the adventures of Bruce Wayne, a.k.a “The Batman” as he tries to bring down criminals in the crime-ridden city of Gotham. While Batman tries to protect the city, his alter ego Bruce Wayne must protect himself by masquerading as a normal wealthy bachleor so no one will guess the true identity of Batman.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold: Batman, with the help of other superheroes, has adventures centering around various villains. In almost every episode, he teams up with another hero (such as Aquaman or Plastic Man) to battle a particular villain or group of villains.

Beware The Batman: Batman, his female bodyguard Katana, and his butler Alfred face off against several minor villains, including a large ninja clan who are after something called “The Soul Sword”.

Batman's Character:

The Batman: In this series, Batman/Bruce Wayne is portrayed as being a loner, but plays the part of a charming socialite in public to avoid suspiscion. He is “married to his job”, therefore has little interest in actual dating. We see just as much of his social life as we do of his heroic alternate life as Batman. In some cases, we see more of his social life than his life as Batman. We are given the impression that him being Batman is more of a hobby than anything else. We also get a closer look at Wayne Industries, which he manages. Bruce Wayne takes on quite a few normal day-to-day struggles, such as trying to find a girlfriend. Despite being a “lone wolf”, he has a compassionate and a romantic side. As Batman, Bruce Wayne is sought after by the police for being a “vigilante”. His detective skills, coupled with advanced technology, make him an accomplished investigator.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold: In this series, we are treated to a more intense version of Batman's “loner side”. We never see him playing the part of a charming socialite or a forced romantic. Instead, he is chacterized as being grumpy, but logical. There are three distinct parts of his personality: Aggressive, logical, and carefree. The last of the three helps the two other parts work together. This Batman does have a romantic side: It is implied that him and Catwoman are attracted to each other, but cannot be together because she is on the side of crime and he is on the side of justice. He takes the time to flirt with her when she's holding him hostage, and she flirts back. We see more of Batman than Bruce Wayne. In fact, Bruce Wayne is barely mentioned throughout the entire series. “Chill of the Night” is the first time viewers see Batman take off his mask and reveal who he really is. During that episode, we also see more of the dark, brooding Batman. He doesn't seem to be considered a “vigilante” that must be arrested. The police never make a move to arrest him, even when he appears right in front of them. His being Batman seems like less of a hobby and more of a dedicated lifestyle.

Beware The Batman: Batman/Bruce Wayne seems more motivated to be social in this series. He has an active love life, although we don't see him surronded by female admirers like we did in The Batman. He is once again viewed as a vigilante that needs to be taken in. Regardless, he still has many admirers and he even manages to somewhat sway the police chief in his favor. He is more willing to confess his secret identity (albeit, only to his female body guard). He is portrayed as being “weak”, in a sense (or “weaker”, anyway). He is more of a mere man without superpowers than he was before, his athletic ability rather less present in this series.

Alfred's Character:

The Batman: Alfred is a parental figure in this series. He encourages Bruce to intergrate into society, disagrees with Bruce's dangerous crime-fighting activities (but tolerates them), and is shown to be mannered and cultured without being particularly athletic. His main duties are to stop Batman's secret identity from being found out, help whenever possible with his missions from the sidelines, and perform common household duties such as cooking and dusting. He is a cross between a dedicated servant and a protective parent. He doesn't tag along with Batman or act like his sidekick, but he sometimes provides him with required information. He has his own personal grudge with The Penguin (also known as Mr. Cobblepot), a fact that has been pinpointed more than once and used as a valuable part of the plot. Chiefly, Alfred's concern is to keep Bruce safe and happy without actually treating him like a child. He has a rather prominent moustache to go with his general pompous manner.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold: Alfred's role in this series is a lot smaller. Not much is seen of his professional servant or parental personality. Instead, he is a minor character who has little or nothing to do with Batman's activities. He writes mystery novels and supports the idea of Batman finding a wife someday (he suggests Catwoman). His only important role in an episode was when he masqueraded as Batman for a few moments after one of the villains found an unmasked Bruce Wayne in the bat cave. It should be noted that this is the only time Alfred dons the bat costume in the series to protect Bruce's alter ego. He barely has any lines at all throughout the duration of the series. Alfred's moustache is a lot thinner in this series.

Beware The Batman: Alfred has a much bigger role in this series than the previous one. He attacks Bruce to keep his reflexes sharp, showing that he is extremely athletic (in fact, he has an immensely muscular build for a man of his age). He is also skilled when dealing with firearms and performs the tasks of an active bodyguard many times. Regardless, he usually doesn't come along on Batman's missions. His mannered, cultured personality is pretty much gone. For that matter, he is also completely clean-shaven in this series and has no hair to speak of.

Villains

The Batman: The main villains in the series are The Joker, Catwoman, The Penguin, Mr. Freeze, and the Riddler. This is including a whole host of minor villains, such as Firefly and Man-Bat. The Joker, who is Batman's rival, has a more prominent part than any of the other villains. All of the main villains, excluding Catwoman, seem to be unbalanced.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold: Several villains are seen throughout the series, including The Joker. However, each season has one main villain. In Season 1, it was Equinox. In Season 2, it was Starro. In Season 3, it was again Equinox. However, Batman faces a whole host of all kinds of villains every season. The Joker appears several times, but is not the main villain of the series. He is presented as being more childish than mentally insane. Even his design has a more immature look to it, contrary to the Joker from The Batman, whose personality and looks illustrated how unhinged he was.

Beware The Batman: This series has an entire cast of new villains, most of them minor ones from the original Batman franchise. The Joker, Catwoman, and all the others are absent from the show so the writers can focus on villains like Pyg and Toad.

Female Main Character

The Batman: Detective Yin, an Asian detective who seems very skilled in martial arts and extremely brave. Later, the female main character becomes Batgirl, Batman's young female sidekick.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold: There is no definite female main character, most likely due to the abundance of female heroes (Wonder Woman, Black Canary, etc.) that appear throughout the series. The only female hero who might be considered a main character is Batgirl. Any female hero who doesn't have a boyfriend or husband is normally in love with Batman (Huntress flirts with him and Black Canary confesses to being in love with him, although the latter knows that he'll never return her feelings). Interestingly enough, both women (plus Catwoman, who is also known to have a crush on Batman) team up to save him in one episode.

Beware the Batman: Katana, Batman's Asian bodyguard. Like Yin, she is immensely skilled in martial arts.

Timeline

The Batman: Bruce Wayne/Batman is roughly 26 years of age (confirmed by the episode “Bird of Prey”).

Batman: The Brave and the Bold: It is implied that this series takes place when Batman is in his late or early thirties.

Beware the Batman: Batman is most likely in his early forties or late thirties. He has grown weaker, although his brain is as sharp as ever. It is his weakened state that prompts Alfred to suggest he hire a bodyguard.

Tone

The Batman: A little dark, but still family-friendly. A little of the imagery might be considered disturbing (for example, Man-Bat's transformed state).

Batman: The Brave and the Bold: A dominantly lighter, more humorous take on Batman, excluding a few more serious episodes. Aquaman and Plastic Man usually serve as comic relief.

Beware the Batman: Eventually following one dominating plot line, the show manages to be more dark and brooding than Batman: The Brave and the Bold.

Theme Song

The Batman: The theme song changes throughout the series. At first, it's dark and serious with a casual air to it. Later, it becomes more in the style of a modern crime drama. In addition, the theme song gradually changes to include Batgirl and Robin after they offically become his sidekicks, as well as a whole host of villains that appear.

Batman: The Brave and the Bold: The theme song is similar to one of a campy 1950s'-style superhero show, complete with several exciting “action scenes”.

Beware the Batman: The theme song is more of a James Bond style, flaunting the new animation. 

Conclusion

Each series brings something new to the entire concept of Batman.  You can decide for yourself which one deserves the least praise. 

A Newcomer's Guide To Slash Pairings

Slash pairings are not what they sound like.  They're basically pairings in which both the characters are homosexual (there's also femslash, but we won't get into that just now).  So what should every newcomer know about slash?  First, you have to know the types of slash pairings that exist  In no particular order......

The Enemy Pairing
Ex.  Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter, Joker and Batman.

The Enemy Pairing is just what it sounds like:  The pairing of two guys that happen to be enemies.  The best part about this pairing is trying to figure out all the different types of ways for them to get together despite their hatred.  The general idea is that the main reason the two hate each other with such devotion is because they're hiding feelings for each other.  Due to their supposed hatred for each other, quite a few fanfiction writers might explore the idea of very rough sex between the pair.

The Assistant/Colleague Pairing
Ex.  Sherlock Holmes and Watson, Hercule Poirot and Captain Hastings

A pairing in which two guys who work together are paired together as a couple.  Their close friendship normally makes for some particularly romantic fan fiction.  It's a bonus if they live together as well as work together.  The general idea is that after working together for a long time they begin to develop feelings for each other that go beyond mere friendship.

The Older/Younger Pairing
Ex.  Batman and Robin, Severus Snape and Harry Potter 

This pairing can easily be related to the above, due to the vagueness of it.  It is basically two males, one younger or older than the other, paired together.  The age difference can range from minor to drastic, albeit most fan fiction writers choose characters with a more significant age difference to make their writing more interesting.  

The Crack Pairing
Ex.  Finn and Ice King, Hatake Kakashi and Rock Lee

This type of pairing exists in every genre, slash or otherwise, but I thought I'd mention it just to be clear.  A crack pairing means the same no matter what kind it is:  It's a pairing that has absolutely no evidence whatsoever and is chiefly just bizarre.  What can be considered a crack pairing depends on your definition of such. 

Now that we've got the basic types out of the way, what's next?  I suppose if you know the types, you'll also need to know about coming up with names....

The "X" or the Slash

The easiest way to name a slash pairing?  Just put an "x" between their names (ex. DracoxHarry).  Or, ironically, you can put a slash ( / ) between their names (Draco/Harry).  

Combining Names

This one is a little trickier.  You take both halves of the characters' names and put them together into one big pairing name (ex. Kakashi and Iruka > KakaIru).  Sometimes you have to be a little creative and use their last names as well (ex. Severus Snape and Hermione Granger > Snager.  Not a slash pairing, but you get the picture).

Whose name goes first?

When it comes combining names to create a pairing name, whose name goes first?  Usually the name of whichever character is going to be the dominant one in the relationship.  In other words, the "top".  For example, for the pairing "KakaIru", it's easy for most fans of the show to see that Kakashi would be the more dominant one (and in bed as well).  When it comes to the pairing of Naruto and Sasuke, it isn't that easy.  Since most fans can't really decide who the dom is going to be, they usually refer to it by both combined names (either SasuNaru or NaruSasu).

That was simple, wasn't it?  The third and final thing you need to know about slash pairings is.....what counts as a slash pairing and what doesn't?

Sometimes it's difficult to know what exactly fits into this category.  

Is it still a slash pairing if the character is technically a boy, but is physically a girl? 

The answer depends on your own personal ideas.  To some people, the answer is yes.  To other, the answer is no.  You can form your own conclusions.

Does it count as a slash pairing if the characters seem attracted to the opposite gender?

Simple answer:  Yes.  That's the beauty of fan fiction and pairings:  They don't have to follow any particular kind of logic.  It's easy to claim that the characters are bisexual, in the closet, or are just confused.  You don't have to explain these things, of course.  It is fan fiction, after all, and most people will just roll with it and not argue the logic of it.   

Well, that's about all everyone needs to know about slash pairings.  I hope you've been informed.  Keep writing, my slash-loving friends :)

Upcoming on my blog:  Adventures in Google, Part 1    

Why No One Should Go To Hogwarts

In most schools, you have to worry about bullies stealing your lunch money.
At Hogwarts, you have to worry about bullies turning you into a ferret.

In most schools, you get bad grades because you forgot to study.
At Hogwarts, you get bad grades because an evil beast had prevented you from studying by dragging you into its evil lair.

In most schools, the teacher can give you an F if you do something wrong.
At Hogwarts,the teacher can feed you a potion that will force you to spill all of your deepest secrets if you do something wrong.

In most boarding schools, your letter doesn't arrive because it gets lost in the mail.
At Hogwarts, your letter doesn't arrive because some over-zealous hunter shot your "letter carrier".

In most schools, you fear walking down the halls alone because of bullies.
At Hogwarts, you fear walking down the halls alone because it's possible someone might have brought a giant, talking spider or a three-headed dog into the school.

In most schools, you learn useful things such as math or science.
At Hogwarts, you learn how to turn animals into water goblets.

In most schools, your classes are interrupted by something exciting outside the window.
At Hogwarts, your classes are interrupted by two troublemakers with magical fireworks that can't be extinguished.

In most schools, the only thing to fear from teachers is that they might give you a bad grade on something you worked hard on.
At Hogwarts, one of the many things to fear from teachers is that they might have another face sticking out of the back of their head.

In most schools, the school talent show is filled with people playing musical instruments badly and attempting to juggle without success.
At Hogwarts, the school talent show might result in some person (*coughcoughSEAMUScoughcough*) blowing up the entire school.

In most schools, you require some textbooks and maybe a uniform.
At Hogwarts, you require textbooks, a uniform, a wand, an animal companion, a cauldron, a broomstick, and an unwavering sense of courage.

In most schools, you worry about tripping as you run down the stairs and making a fool of yourself.
At Hogwarts, you worry about the staircase moving and causing you to fall to your death. 

In most schools, you take Driver's Ed when you're a teenager in order to prepare for driving a vehicle.
At Hogwarts, you learn to fly a broomstick that can go up to 500 feet in the air when you're only eleven years old.  And remember:  Broomsticks don't necessarily have airbags.

The next time you're about to complain about your schooling, remember:  It could be worse.

Upcoming on my blog:
A comparison of three animated Batman series' and a list of helpful tricks for Plants vs. Zombies.  

Why No One Should Live in Gotham City

In most cities, you have to worry about being mugged.
In Gotham City, you have to worry about some crazy guy who looks like a clown spraying you with a gas that makes you go insane.  

In most colleges, your main concern is getting good grades.
In Gotham, your main concern in college is being attacked by a group of half-animal students who want to punish you for not accepting them.

In most cities, you have to worry about traffic on a work day.
In Gotham, you have to worry about a guy dressed as a bat driving recklessly in pursuit of a criminal who is also driving recklessly......and whose car could very easily destroy yours.

In most cities, you don't want to get out of bed in the morning because of school or work.
In Gotham, you don't want to get out of bed because you might be squashed, blown up, zapped, put under mind control, held for ransom by a madman, kidnapped and replaced by a duplicate, frozen, or subjected to vertigo.....usually before you even make it to school or work.

In most cities, you might try to be emo by dressing in all black.
You wish.  A guy who walks around in a bat costume will always look more emo than you no matter how much black you wear.

In most cities, you fear public transportation because people that use it tend to be unfriendly and/or unwashed.
In Gotham, you fear public transportation because there might be a lunatic on-board the train planning to hypnotize you into stealing valuables.

In most cities, you miss your favorite show because of presidential speeches and breaking news bulletins.
In Gotham, you miss your favorite show because some madman has hijacked all the channels to broadcast footage of himself taking down one of the greatest heroes in the city.

In most cities, the hardest thing you'll face as a police officer is taking down a particularly crafty serial killer.
In Gotham, the hardest thing you'll face as a police officer is taking down a crafty criminal who hides liquid explosives all over the city and threatens to set them off if you don't answer his riddles correctly.

In most cities, criminals wear ski masks.
In Gotham, criminals can wear any variety of costumes that have a much scarier effect.

In most cities, uninvited guests crash your party.
In Gotham, mutant college students who are half-animal crash your party.

In most cities, the biggest annoyances can be handled by the police.
In Gotham, the biggest annoyances have to be handled by a man in a bat costume and his younger sidekicks....and remember, they can't be everywhere at once.  

In most cities, you worry about hackers.
In Gotham, you worry about someone uploading a super-villain into your computer.

In most cities, the only thing to fear from snobby people is being offended by them insulting your lack of sophistication.
In Gotham, the only thing to fear from snobby people is that they might sic their birds on you and steal all of your valuables.

In most cities, the bullies are faster, stronger, and braver than you.
In Gotham, the bullies are faster, stronger, braver.....and they have nearly invulnerable robotic suits and giant floating war ships that could blow up your entire neighborhood.


In most cities, having a garden is a lovely way to make your community look nicer.
In Gotham, having a garden is a lovely way to be attacked by a villain who can control plants.

My next post:  "Why No One Should Go To Hogwarts". 

You Never Noticed, Did You?

1.  Naruto looks like he could stand in for Lisa Simpson (check the hair)
2.  In just about every school-centered anime, it's a female character surrounded by good-looking boys, or a male character surrounded by good-looking girls.
3.  The hairs on Homer Simpson's head, plus his ear, create the initials "M.G." (when he's sideways)
4.  If a male character on a TV show is lazy and overweight, chances are he has a wife who is the exact opposite.
5.  In the episode of "Adventure Time" in which Finn is trapped in a dream, the "ears" on his hat are taller when he's in the dream and their regular height when he's not in it.
6.  Spongebob doesn't look even remotely like a REAL sea sponge....except in the episode he strives to be "normal"
7.  "The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron:  Boy Genius", "Hey Arnold!", and "The Fairly Oddparents" all have one thing in common:  Each one features a stereotypical homosexual working at the main character's school.
8.  Nickelodeon seems to have a thing for aggressive blonde girls (Sam Puckett, Helga Pataki, Cindy Vortex, etc.)
9.  In Skye Sweetnam's music video for her song "Human", the back of her pants says "Ass"
10.  Kakashi Hatake from "Naruto" (whose first name translates to "scarecrow") LOOKS like a scarecrow (a hot one, though)
11.  The type of Twizzlers that you're supposed to peel are surprisingly similar to gummy worms.
12.  Episodes of television shows meant to encourage people to lose weight by eating less usually make you hungry with all their talk of food.

How To Create An Award-Winning Sitcom

Most people think it takes a lot of talent, study, and luck to create a sitcom that tops the charts.  Well, the truth is that all you need to do is follow these simple rules and you'll be swimming in awards.  Don't believe me?  Just take a look at what's on television right now!

1.  Make sure your cast includes a dumb fat man, a smart skinny man, at least two children (one troublemaker and one genius).  For extra points, make sure the mother is a strong female role model......whose also a housewife that thinks no woman can survive without a man in her life.

2.  When in doubt, reveal some shocking detail about one of the characters, even if you have to toss away several seasons worth of continuity to do it!  If you're really stumped, just make one of the characters gay and let the episode write itself!

3.  Toss in a trendy guest star every few episodes.  After all, they really have nothing better to do.

4.  Arrange the promo in such a way that it makes the series look like softcore porn.

5.  Pounce on every idea out there!  Everyone knows the world needs a dozen more "It's A Wonderful Life", "A Christmas Carol", and "Mary Poppins" parodies!

6.  Make fun of all the places you eat at regularly.  I'm sure they'll appreciate it.

7.  Shamelessly advertise products, no matter how unrelated they are to the series.  It's obvious that faceless, unpopular brand names like Apple and Microsoft need as much publicity as possible!

8.  Let the series run several years past its prime.  The best shows in the world are the ones that use jokes over and over because the writers are running out of ideas!  For a big fat bonus point, use cliche humor so you don't have to come up with anything original!

9.  Give your sitcom a snappy, creative name, like "Talk To The Hand" or "Don't Go There".  Using the word "show" will almost guarantee it's a massive hit!

10.  Make your characters so one-dimensional no one can pick them out of a crowd.  That way people won't have to strain their poor brains trying to work out the complex workings of a real human being's mind!

If you this this is all crap, maybe you're right.  But I'm sure this would make a great plot for a sitcom!

The End of the World, According To...

Elfen Lied:  We're all going to be killed by a race of creatures with telekinetic abilities and horns on their heads.  The good news is, they'll be really cute :)

The Simpsons:  The iPods will take over and we'll become their slaves (they just like whipping)

Angry Birds:  We'll be blown up by a giant black bird because those crafty pigs have barricaded themselves

Plants vs. Zombies:  We'll be invaded by zombies that can dance.  Luckily, we'll have plants to protect us.  Unluckily, these zombies are omnivores :(

House of Anubis:  An Egyptian goddess will wreak havoc upon the world, all thanks to a psychopath with timeless good looks (and his assistants, one of whom has perfectly groomed facial hair) 

Chowder:  We'll all be crushed by a giant grubble gum ball (don't worry, it's bubblegum flavored)

Ren and Stimpy:  Some idiot will press the history eraser button (we told him not to do it!)

The Amazing World of Gumball:  The moon will moon the sun ("What is wrong with that guy?")

Spongebob Squarepants:  Robots will take over the world! (never mind, just their world :) )

Invader ZIM:  An alien will squash all of us humans with the planet Mars (see his Microsoft Paint presentation for more info)

The Jimmy Timmy Power Hour 3:  A lonely superhero will trap us in a white dimension and use us as his play things (anyone for being a fridge magnet?)

Happy Tree Friends:  A flying squirrel with heat vision will flood the world trying to save a pink teddy bear from a giant rolling ball of snow

Don't worry, guys.  I'm sure they make disaster kits for each of these  ^.^